


We're Like Bonnie and Clyde (but totally platonic)

by mfingalpha (nomz_bunny)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Thieves, Criminal Derek, Criminal Stiles Stilinski, M/M, jewelry thieves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 16:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomz_bunny/pseuds/mfingalpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Pack is an infamous group of jewelry thieves. The most noted among them are Derek the "Alpha"and Stiles "Bilinski" (who is the one responsible for leaving pictures of Derek's ass at crime scenes).</p><p>They steal but they're not heartless (Stiles would have called them "Robin Hood and the Merry Men of Sherwood Forest" but "Bonnie and Clyde" is just less of a mouthful) as they give anonymous donations (accompanied by a picture of Derek's ass, naturally) to charities and good causes.</p><p>As they go about their illegal pursuits, they find themselves questioning their moralities and falling in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Like Bonnie and Clyde (but totally platonic)

**Author's Note:**

> nope.  
> I'm updating everything else this week I swear.

“ _Motherfucker!_ ”

Derek closed his eyes and prayed to whatever-the-fuck-deities-that-were-still-listening-to-him for patience and then turned around slowly, careful not to trigger the laser alarm just above his head. What he saw when he turned around gave him the urge to just turn back around, trip the alarm, and just submit himself to life in prison for the millions of dollars of jewelry that was tucked away on his person because  _surely_ , that was better than being forced to be with the person behind him for longer than ten minutes.

 _“Derek!_ ” Stiles hissed, face scrunched up in pain, “ _Help me!_ ” He tried desperately to wiggle his foot but stopped immediately when a growl sounded from the little chihuahua that was attached to his shoelaces.

“No.” Derek muttered, but he reached forward to pet the stupid dog anyways and proceeded to try and remove the canine from his fellow thief’s shoe.

“Alpha and Bilinski, what the  _fuck_  are you doing—you have  _five more minutes_  why are your asses not outside already?!” snarled a distinctly pissed off sounding Lydia from their respective comms. The two shared a wince (Derek refused to acknowledge that he was terrified of Lydia…but he was, he so very much was) and Stiles attempted to send puppy—no, not puppy— _kitty_ -eyed vibes through the comms as he stuttered out an explanation. _  
_

“Oh my god! Are you guys okay?” a much gentler and more sympathetic feminine voice cut across the vulgarities currently spewing out of Lydia’s mouth ( _five minutes! Five minutes until the next security sweep are you fucking—)._

 _“_ Uh, yeah! We’re peachy, right Derek?”

Derek simply glowered at Stiles as he finally convinced the dog to open its jaws and let go of Stiles’ shoelaces. “ _Alpha_ ,” he grumbled to Stiles, “I’m  _Alpha_  on missions, stop calling me anything else.”

Stiles rolled his eyes, “Right, like our comms aren’t perfectly secure or anything, Danny-boy’s a genius, we’re pefectly—”

“ _Would you two stop_ flirting _and get your asses out of that building and into the van or would you prefer it if I went in and dragged them out_?!” Lydia’s irritated words caused Stiles to shut up (finally) and Derek gingerly made his way out from under the laser again and climbed his way up the window and hopped out. You’d think a high-end jewelry auction building would have more security on its windows, Derek thought as he turned back around to give a hand to Stiles (who absolutely  _sucked_ at window hopping). And of course, it’s exactly when that thought crosses his mind when the alarms start blaring.

Fuck.

Stiles cursed and scrabbled a bit at the window sill before jumping down and then the two were off, sprinting towards the black van already rolling away from the curb. They managed to jump into the van and drive off before the security team could even arrive at the site.

And to think Derek wanted to be an architect when he was younger.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://alphadragons.tumblr.com)


End file.
